I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
