idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
