I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
