i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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