small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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