hotel room ftw
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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