you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
