I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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