all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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