Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
