I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
