Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
A place I should not be.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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