can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
this hospital has no fireball
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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