He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
