this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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