Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
