Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
