Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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