the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize