I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
When are your genitals available?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
