I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
