he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The struggles of a small town man whore
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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