we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
