why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
