Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
