Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
