why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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