if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
porn star boner night. come get it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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