im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
