12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
