also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.