Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
