he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
