Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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