Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
