That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize