Where did you get a picture of my penis
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
