so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
