And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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