I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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