Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize