worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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