Dual....:-)
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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