I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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