She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
