He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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