why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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