She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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