some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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