I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize