You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
