im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize