if i can run in heels then i can drive
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
