you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
