if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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