You can't motorboat a personality
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
