why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
