it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
