so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.