We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just gargled with NyQuil
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH