I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.