hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?