I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.