dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You ruined the universe
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
