I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Two words: nipple clamps
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