thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
