youre lurking in front of me
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
