Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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