R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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