Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
