I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Your cock deserves a montage
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
