she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Randomize
