He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
