Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
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Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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