just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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