the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
