pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
